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On The Verge

February 1, 2012

2011 was a bad year for me.

then 2012 came and interesting things, positive things have been happening. I really feel like I’m on the verge of some personal breakthrough. My art is about to take wing. Right now, also with a new job I’m trying to find a workable balance between doing well there without losing my momentum and focus on my art-making. In the past , my work  had consumed me considerably. I need to be able to keep my distance and to keep my head focused on what’s important.

Anyway,  I’ve done everything- like a farmer who’s infused the ground with the best fertilizer, selected the best seeds, and plowed the ground with utmost care. Now it’s up to something beyond me: the sun, the rain…

And I need to keep charging on but I keep hoping to find that perfect muse, that art-mate, that soul-muse that’s anything and everything ( muse, lover, challenger, friend, creative and intellectual sparring-partner, life-buddy, play-mate, gadfly) . Maybe that critical  missing piece I need to push myself over the edge.

One part of me tells me I don’t need to have an external stimulus to keep going on my path. Another part feels a lack.

Or is my desire to find that “perfect muse” my attempt at keeping myself at a stand-still, my excuse from not jumping away from safety?

Regardless, the art won’t  make itself.

And then again and again I learn to :

Never put all your eggs in one basket,
always have a backup plan to the back up plan
and the only other sure thing  besides death is
disappointment.

 

Some recent drawings~

 

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