so here I am, painting, and it dawns on me that the only way the painting can realize itself is within the painting itself.
let it answer its own questions- don’t get in the way, and bring something from the outside.
in this case, you have to think “inside the box”. the answer is within the box.
fuck thinking “outside the box”. it’s overrated and
meaningless. the problem is literally in the box-
thus the answer is somewhere in it.
to think otherwise is to be tangential- to be beside the point
to be art-ificial
the story ended as it began :
a lone wolf was found dead in the snow
You draw not to copy but to notice
How to find some kind of reasonable balance between life, art, and work…art predominating-
and this thing where one thing ends- let’s say a life, and another begins. I want them both…
if it’s a boy: Lucien Keone ( nickname Luke-Lucien from Lucien Freud the painter, Keone is Hawaiian for John…
and if it’s a girl, Elise Martha ( Elise, from the Cure song- nickname Eli) )
IN OTHER NEWS
the dog of my life, my art assistant Ripley had to go through surgery recently-
and the biopsy result wasn’t good but at least she’s healing well, for now
“Sail on by, sail on by for now
They play naked in the water
You know it’s hard, heaven knows I’ve tried
But it just keeps getting harder…
So won’t you lay me, won’t you lay me down
Won’t you lay me, won’t you lay me down “
this isn’t erotica- this isn’t titillation- this is the rude slap of leaves and branches on your face just before you walk into a forest clearing, or a path- and you see: being. being, being, being: complex, fascinating,multi-hued, shifting shimmering Other
one thing I’m fascinated with are creatives who perform publicly: the singers, dancers, actors. their art happens mostly “in situ”, in the moment, requiring an audience ( and the energy that transfers back and forth), on a stage or under the scrutiny of a spotlight; my work happens in a cave, so to speak- in the dark and relative silence, wrestling with proverbial demons- and then something is left, some trace that perhaps a public ( including myself) will look at “a posteriori.”
I should look into this
I’m participating in a salon show this Sunday, March 8th at 7 pm, at The Living Gallery. There’s a Q&A portion for the artists. Figured I’d do it since I’ve never done this before. My ” do something different once a week ” thing, I guess.
RECENT WORK- 2 MODELS, 2 SESSIONS
sometimes she would crawl inside my skin, pushing here and there, grasping, pinching and poking- stretching me from the inside; and through her I learn better where I begin and where I end, where I break and where I gather up-
she curls up inside me like a curious fetus, a something without a name- my inner cave hiding wondrous images
Altamira caves and Lascaux. And then the Sistine Chapel…I can’t help feeling that between one and the other, something was lost. The Sistine Chapel to me looks needlessly excessive and decadent- crass; not the height but the dregs, like leftover grind and sugar in the bottom of a mug
maybe the best art we as a species have ever made, were created in darkness and silence-fugitive as drawings scrawled on an Australian boulder with the sap of a twig, or eroding under tropical rain
MOST RECENT WORK ( the fluid, less-finished ones are warm up drawings done, with my left hand )
what burns is not Art.
what does not burn is not Art.
does the infant cradle the aged? or is the wasting on their deathbed
possess the infant?
a tree grows to sprout a seed in its maturity;
this seed, tiny and hard, contains all the lives of the tree
and promises a forest.
I grow older and older and I grow inward.
I grow less patient with those who don’t get IT-
explain an ocean to a lake?
simultaneously I grow more and more patient
with those who don’t get it. I stop explaining oceans-
and talk about their lakes
their sewage systems.
water is water
I have added a new step to my drawing process:
draw with my left hand, then both my left and right hand to warm up.
anything to break up my complacency , my routine.
and I’ve combined ink- wash and chalk,
wet and dry.
wet. and dry.
I continue to try to do something different every week
I have an ancestor who, due to violent physical trauma ( from one of the Wars), got unhinged- became homeless, wore rags, dug up tubers and ate fruits- lived off of what people in the town gave him, made bonfires and slept in the warm ash. My father used to go looking for him with me in tow- we would find him, and my father and he would just squat close to each other silently- the near-naked gaunt, long-haired old man with the stubborn square chin- my father with the same stubborn chin dressed in city clothes…I always felt that ancestor of mine did it for me, for us, so we wouldn’t have to do it ( be homeless, be hungry, be alone )
and sometimes now, at night – when the daily mundane worries of my adult life lifts off me and my bed like stale breath, from the loam of my semi-sleep I find myself in that man’s body: watching the town below from a hill, the grit of warm ash against my skin and the smell of burnt wood, the sounds coming from the town waking up, and this invisible lock clamped over my mouth
the townies used to mockingly call him “Tarzan”.
His real name was Bernan.
1/10- 1/16/15 ( some of these drawings were done with my left and right hand , simultaneously )
1. Don’t be complacent.
2. Think it through once, then make a decision- but stay nimble.
3. Less patience. More patience.
4. Know your values. Know your priorities.
5. Find the right people.
6. Go somewhere far away once a year.
7. Do something different once a week.
8. Do more art, see more art, talk more art.
9. Take care of your body.
10. What comes, comes. What stays, stays. What goes, goes.